In one's spiritual/religious convictions, we are called to serve in one manner or another. We are called to pray, to love, praise and adore our God, to attend to the needs of the poor, to love our neighbor, and all to obey God's commandments. We learn this from instruction by our parents, in catechism, by reading the Bible, and by attending mass. It all starts at childhood. The family environment one lives in is what forms the spiritual character of a person.
I was raised in a family environment that practiced Catholicism and all its precepts and commandments. In our family there would be a prayer of the rosary by women ever night to which I and all the children were require to attend. That was my beginning of understanding prayer. As I look back on that part of my life, I come to realize that it was not the rosary prayers that shaped my spiritual life. The most profound lesson of personal prayer was taught to me by my gradnfather. one night when I was going to bed he came to say goodnight. I was kneeling on the side of the bed praying what I knew of prayer and he told me I did not have to kneel, that I could be in bed and still pray. Most importantly, he told me to "talk" to God. So from then on, I talked to God every night, and then I learned I could talk to God anytime and anywhere. That is the background that led me to the diaconate.
In my later life, about eleven years ago, I got a call from God. It was announced in our church that the Diocese of Las Cruces was taking applications for the Diaconate. I didn't think much of it, but the adminstrator of the parish walked to where I was seated, tapped me on the shoulder and told me I should think about applying to be a deacon candidate. I disagreed to myself, and told myself that I was not worthy of being the Lord's servant.
The following Monday as I drove to work, following my routine of drinking coffee and eating toast while I drove, I couldn't eat or drink because my attention was on the call of the Diaconate. I talked to God and told Him I was not worthy and asked for forvieness for my denial. I drove the 17 miles to work talking to God saying I was too much of a sinner and was not worthy of being His servant. I felt sorrowful for my denial. By Wednesday I was crying and saying to God that I was not worthy of being His servant. On Friday I relented and said to God, ok Lord I will apply to the Diaconate call, but there are many obstacles and I place them all in your hands and your will be done!
The following week was long and I talked to God every day telling Him the status of my decision. The following Friday, one week after my announcemnt to apply to the Diaconate, at the dinner table my wife and daughter said to me: "Ok we agree to support you in your endeavor to be a Deacon", and my wife agreed to go with me though the training. The following week I went on a work trip and missed the deadline for applying to the deaconate. The Sunday after my return my family and I were having breakfast at Village Inn and out of nowhere the director of deacon formation, tapped me on my shoulder and asked me if I had turned in my application. I apologized and told him I had missed the deadline because I was out of town. He said it was okay and for me to gather everything and take my application to his house. I gathered everything and turned it in to him and he thanked me and said he would turn it in.
After 3 weeks had passed I recieved a letter from the Bishop stating that I and my wife were invited to appear at the Diocesan center for an interview regarding my application for deacon training. We went on the assigned day and were interviewed seperately. After our interview, my wife and I shared the questions and our different responses to them. 2 more weeks passed and we got another invitation to be interviewed by a psychiatrist. On the assigned day we went to see the psychiatrist and were again interviewed seperately. Once again we shared our different answers and laughed and thought they would think we were nuts!.
A few more weels passed and we recieved a letter from the Bishop, it stated: "Congratulations! You have been selected to attend the Deacon Training Program." We began the training in September 2004, and I was ordained Deacon on June 7th, 2008. As the proverbial saying goes, "The rest is history!" I love my ministry, and I thank God for choosing ne to be His servant!